Age: 25 and a half, and feeling it.
Occupation: Full-time student…. And lovin’ it! Just finished my first year, and in the process of transferring universities for academic reasons. Studying BSc (hons) Criminology and Criminal Justice.
Can you tell us about your ban from Nene Park? What is the current situation?
Bit f*ckin’ nosey, aren’t you? (Giving the people what they want to read…! -ed.) Well, I have the opportunity to appeal against the forthcoming third and final year of my ban. I have decided, however, I would much prefer to see out the three year ban for academic reasons – to concentrate on my university studies.
Given the way you were dealt with (re: your ban), what are your views on the way Garry Hill was treated after his headbut “incident”?
In all honestly, I think everyone is allowed one mistake in life – what Garry did was inexcusable, however, we’ve all made mistakes in life, and we’ve all made radical decisions. I’m sure Garry has learnt the hard way, and I’m sure he’ll be the first to admit that his actions were not acceptable. In the same breath, and as I’ve said, we’ve all made mistakes – every single one of us. If he learns from this mistake, then all should be forgotten. With regards to my ban, though, obviously I find it increasingly frustrating, more so because the club had originally laid down strict guidelines on personal conduct. If I took the time to sit down and think about it over and over again, I’d probably be extremely annoyed, but then I just remind myself that I wouldn’t be in the position I am now, if it wasn’t for the banning order imposed. I think many of my friends will concur with me, with regards to this. I don’t hold grudges, and never will I do. It all makes me wonder whether Billy Turley was treated too harshly.
What, in your view, does the future hold for Rushden and Diamonds FC?
Keith Cousins and his back-room staff will ultimately bring the Conference title back to Nene Park. I have absolutely no hesitation in saying that Keith is one of the best things that’s happened to this club, especially over recent years. How does that saying go? “He’s better inside the tent, spitting out, than outside the tent, spitting in….”.
Most embarrassing moment: Where do I start?! Jesus…. Nobody knows my most embarrassing moment, because that’s between me and four walls, however, I once stood on the corner of an extremely busy road, waiting for a hearse to drive by… I stood there, put my head down, and gave my respects…. When the car drove closer, I realised it wasn’t a hearse at all, but a black estate car with an MFI wardrobe in the back.
First Game: No idea – some match in 1992/93. I was only a little kid. Bless me.
Years Following Rushden: Ever since that date, when I was too young to know any better, until 2006.
Watching Position: Previously back of the Debanke – but now from my arm-chair.
Favourite Away Ground: Notts County and Luton, for two very different reasons.
Favourite Rushden kit: Yellow away kit from our conference days.
Other Favourite Clubs: I keep an eye out for Watford and Derby. Watford, because my family are all supporters of the mighty ‘orns, and Derby, because I spent the best 3 years of my life up there! (I couldn’t live back there now, though – I’ve seriously f*cked off too many women…. I‘m a wanted man….).
Least Favourite Clubs: Cobblers – but I probably hate the supporters more than the club. More fickle than our own fans.
Funniest moment watching the Diamonds: There’s far too many to name but one. Would have to be one with Johno or Stevo, as something funny always happens when we’re in company. Probably the biggest laugh I’ve had was the trip to Notts County a few years back – the same day that my expensive steak dinner was used to conduct a food fight between the children present – Hilltop, Sparkle, Doyle, Ed, and whoever else was there at the time. Bloody Kids! Seriously…
….Or it could be my first ever visit to Luton, when I got lost down the back of some houses, and tried to jump a 10 foot fence – not knowing there was a 20 foot drop on the other side… into a stream…….. Wasn’t best pleased.
Best Goal scored: Mark Cooper vs. Southport at Nene Park. Right-footed volley from about 30 yards, into the top corner. Fantastic! There’s been many others, namely goals scored in the first twelve minutes, but I’m usually still walking from the bar at this point – or I’m taking a slash.
Best Goal conceded: Ainsworth’s first goal, vs. QPR.
Favourite Game: Leeds home and away, or Cobblers at home – winning 3-2.
Worst Game: K*ttering at home, losing 2-1, or Cheltenham at home (1999), by the same score-line. For other reasons, Cheltenham away in 2006, as well.
Favourite Manager: Roger Ashby. (I would say Brian Talbot, but only because I wanted to ravidge his daughter).
Favourite Ever Player: Duane Darby, Andy Kirkup and Mickey Nuttell.
Favourite Current Player: Couldn’t give a sh*t. (Do they care who their favourite fan is? No, of course they don’t!). Probably Gulliver then…
Best Opposition Player: Gareth Ainsworth for QPR.
Worst Opposition Player: That stumpy striker for K*ttering all those years ago – Someone Pearson. Wasn’t a fan of Clive Walker either, when he was at Woking – and my hatred for him has nothing to do with the fact he touches children repeatedly.
All-time Rushden & Diamonds XI:
GK: Billy Turley
RB: Tarkan Mustafa
LB: Paul Underwood
CB1: John “kill him” Flower
CB2: Ray Warburton
RM: Paul Hall
LM: Andy Kirkup
CM1: Gary Butterworth
CM2: Michael McElhatton (…He’s never played for Clacton… or Brazil, he’s f*ckin’ brill!).
FW1: Darren Collins
FW2: Duane Darby
SUBGK: Jamie Ashdown
SUB2: Mickey Nuttell
SUB3: Chris Whyte
SUB4: Onandi Lowe
MANAGER: Roger Ashby
What are you hoping for next season?
League Position: To win promotion obviously.
FA Cup: An attractive 3rd round tie to cheer the supporters up as our league chances will effectively be over by then.
FA Trophy: A good cup run, as our league chances will effectively be over by then.
Setanta Shield: A trip to Aldershot, perhaps?
Thanks to Frag for taking part in what must be the longest EOTT yet…!